| The Interview |
*Panoramic view of the Great Hall of the Dread Lord. The sun barely shines outside the dome, dimmed into submission by the Oh So Great Dread Lord who, as we speak, is standing beside his throne, leaning against it in an evil - but stylish - sort of way.*
*Zoom in to the minion grovelling at the base of the throne* ... *Still zooming* ... *'tis a large hall here* ... *ah here we are*...
Minion: O Dread Lord, I beseech thee, let me be thy official groveller-gatherer of all things of knowledge that are to be found along the vast shores, mountains, plains and dusty closets of your mighty kingdom of the World Wide Web! O Thunderous Lord of All Things to Dread, I shall meticulously follow your every whim and desire and shall entreat you with the finest gems of information that are to be found anywhere on...
Dread Lord: Yes yes, alright, enough grovelling.
Minion: Yes, Oh Mighty Dread Lord, Oh Master of the Pen and Paper, Oh Magnificent Mak...
Dread Lord: Yes yes, very well and good, now if you'd just shut up with the grovelling for a minute, I'd like to start off by asking you a few simple questions, eh?
With a snap of his fingers several doors open behind the throne, letting in a draft that proceeds to stir the curtains, sending them flying about and happily knocking over several lamps, a coat rack and a hamster cage very cleverly concealed in a nook over to the corner. The hamster didn't find it clever at all that it should be sent flying down the hall, straight at the grovelling minion, but one must consider that the average IQ of a hamster is pretty low, so it is understandable that the subtlety of the cleverly designed nook would be completely lost on the hamster. On the other hand, one must give credit to the hamster for having a positive attitude over the whole thing - amidst the unfortunate consequences of being thrown about without so much as a word, the hamster saw freedom on the horizon, and seized it with all the might of his paws.
A few moments later, minions are streaming into the hall. A few are chasing the hamster across the white marble, others are sorting the curtains, racks and other assorted remains of the now infamous draft. The grovelling minion is rubbing her head, on the spot where the hamster cage it hit and split open, thus permitting the hamster's escape. The Dread Lord is shouting out orders in all directions.
Dread Lord: You idiots! How many times have I told you, close the kitchen doors when you come in! By the gods, 'tis the third time this week!
*cue heavy sighing on the Dread Lord's part*
You two, never mind the hamster, bring me the interview list, and make is snappy, I have a torture meeting later and you know what will happen if I miss one more of those!
*cue heavy shuddering on the minion's part*
A few minutes later, all is sorted out. Our grovelling minion is now sitting on a small stool. the curtains have quieted down, the Dread Lord is on his throne sorting some papers, and the hamster is quietly enjoying his newly found freedom.
Dread Lord: So, you want to be my official WebDigger(tm), eh? Let's start out with the basics: name, age, sex, location, skills, shall we?
Minion: Yes, yes, O Dread Lord. *nods vigorously*. My, errr, wordly name is Andreia Gaita, I'm Lead Developer in a portuguese software company, IfThenElse, designing and developing mostly web apps, so I am familiar with many of the more arcane languages and technologies of the kingdom, such as PHP, JSP, anything.NET, anything-XML, etc. I did the Ajax dance to death back in 1997 before anyone thought to name it after a detergent. I'm a female geek, 29, based in Lisbon, Portugal.
I am renowned among my friends for my web digging skills, following the zen of master fravia+ and the language skills I picked up on my former career path as a translator, before the programming bug bit me.
My formal education was geared towards languages and literature, so I am proficient in Portuguese (my native language) and English (Certificate of Proficiency level A Grade A from Cambridge School), and can read and understand Spanish, French and Latin.
Dread Lord: Hmmm, interesting...
*The Dread Lord jots some notes down while being warily eyed by the hamster, recently returned from an exciting journey all the way to the other side of the great hall. The hamster decides, wisely, not to take the risk of going after the funky-looking salad which was in the meantime brought in by a minion. Instead, it lunges for the closing door through which the aforementioned minion exited the hall, in search of that great hamster heaven that is the kitchen.*
Dread Lord *munching on a funky-looking carrot* : So, *munch munch*, you say you have web digging skills, eh? We'll see about that. The computer beside you is all setup with what you'll need. I want you to get me three pages expounding on the virtues/blights of blogging. And don't you dare mention wikipedia!
Minion: Right away, O Greatest of the Greatest!
*sounds of keys being pounded, buttons being pushed and links being clicked upon*
Minion: O Dreaded Lordship, what you have requested is at your disposal. I have found for you:
The Good, The Bad, and the Blogly
http://techcentralstation.com/061803A.html
Bloggers Need Not Apply
http://chronicle.com/jobs/2005/07/2005070801c.htm
Arise, Citizen Journalist!
http://outlookindia.com/fullprint.asp?choice=2&fodname=20051017&fname=KC+Clarke&sid=1
Dread Lord: Very *munch munch* well, I'll take a look at these. I'll send for you when I need you. Thanks for showing up, sorry for the hamster bit.
Minion: O thank you O Dread Lord sir! I am honored to have been of service to you!
Dread Lord: Yes yes, quite right, go on.
*Zoom out over the great hall. Minion exits on left, Dread Lord is left clicking on the computer, hamster lounges about*
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